You re just not that into him. So You’re Wondering If Your Child Might Be Autistic….



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He's Just Not That Into You Clip - We Are The Rule





Searching the internet for signs of autism spectrum disorders. Going back up to the search bar to enter a different set of keywords, hoping to find some other site that will assure you that these strange behaviors your child has been evidencing are perfectly normal. Telling yourself he is just a little behind. And now you are wondering if you are just being paranoid. What does autism look like in a young child? Well, the important thing to remember is that, just like everyone else on the planet, every autistic child is a unique person. There are common behaviors that they share, but a child can still be autistic and not share every common autistic behavior. Because getting hung up on that can make you fool yourself. Autism spectrum behaviors do not exist in isolation. The one that seems to be noticed first amongst the greatest number of parents is a concern that your child might have a hearing problem. You might also worry that he has some kind of persistent ear infection. Because you might have noticed your child repeatedly covering his ears. Especially if it is noisy or chaotic. You have probably taken him to the doctor, only to be told there is no infection — perhaps more than once. Instead of rolling his little truck around or kissing her baby doll , he just sits and repeatedly spins the wheels. Or bangs the baby doll, over and over and over. And over some more. You probably bought him a lovey of some sort. Instead, he just might carry around that plastic hanger everywhere he goes. He probably at one point was a good eater for you. But suddenly, you may start worrying about all the foods he will no longer eat. He might begin to refuse everything but dry foods like crackers or chicken nuggets. He may consent to eat only one food period. Your child may not show affection in the same way as other children. You might find him squirming away or resisting being cuddled. Or you may find the opposite. He may have strange ways of loving all over you, rubbing his arms and legs all over you, maybe even strangely wanting to run his mouth all over your arm. His odd ways of handling touch may also include an aversion to touching things that are wet, or gooey, or crumbly. Or you may find him smeared all over with anything spreadable he can get his hands on, rubbing it in over and over again. You may have noticed that your child does not point to what he wants. This is a big red flag. He also may not ever bring anything to your attention, like a toy or the stars. And, if you try to point something out to him, his eyes might not follow the direction in which you are looking and pointing. You might be losing a lot more sleep than you did with your first child or what your loved ones told you was typical. He might not have ever settled into a sleeping pattern and may continue to wake you repeatedly each night. He might not be saying single words such as mama, daddy, ball, juice, etc. Even more disturbing is that he might not try to communicate with you in other ways, such as taking your hand and leading you to what he wants. He might be delayed in other ways as well, such as crawling, walking, using a spoon, etc. When he does walk, you may notice that he prefers walking on his tiptoes. And, you just might have noticed something strange he is doing with his arms. It looks a little like that hand flapping that people do when they bite into something that is way too hot. Except he does it a lot. Especially if the TV is on. He may just flap away. And then flap again. And maybe moan or grunt in his excitement. If he is, you are trying to stop a mockingbird from singing. It is simply how he expresses his excitement. So now the Theme to Jaws is playing in your head. Should I call my doctor? What if everybody finds out and treats him differently? Explain to his doctor each and every one of the symptoms your child has. Either convince her, insist, or see another doctor. Even very good doctors may not recognize some of the signs. Get an autism screening. Or get him undiagnosed. A false diagnosis is not the worse thing that could happen. The worst thing that could happen is that your child is autistic and would miss out on years of beneficial therapy. There are a lot of special needs parents out there who can tell you about that. It is the child who makes you special. You are going to grieve. You are going to grieve for things you took for granted that may not come to pass. He might not ever play Little League, be a Boy Scout, or skateboard. Then again, he might. The not knowing is the hardest part. Hope is a roller coaster. You will need to remember that your child has not been taken from you. This is the child you were given all along. And no one, no one, is better suited to be his champion. You are allowed to cry. Try not to do it in front of him. And then you are going to have to put on your proverbial Big Girl or Boy Panties. Autism, at its worst, can rob you of a lot of things. Autistic children may not ever learn to talk or care for themselves. But they will still give you joy and teach you many things about love and gratitude. Autistic children may grow up to need support, but have happy, productive, and fulfilling lives. Then, with diagnosis in hand and therapies started, reach out. Join a support group. Join the online autism spectrum community — made up of ASD people, their friends and loved ones, doctors, therapists, teachers, and more. They are an amazing group of people whose arms are open to you. I just made that discovery myself. And repeat to yourself: I can do this. This is not a tragedy. And I am not alone. Little girls can, of course, be autistic as well. For the sake of brevity, I used a male pronoun. You can even print it off the internet. Either way, your doctor will know about it.

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5 Comments

  1. I know what they mean, but this is a bad way to put it, because it implies you're supposed to be bound by some plan you made early on. And especially about what other people thought of them. He might begin to refuse everything but dry foods like crackers or chicken nuggets.

  2. For Your Life People who've taken the Kolbe Indexes have become more confident, more energetic, and more powerful - just from understanding their natural talents. A better name would be curiosity.

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