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Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) (Video Version)
If his friend knew that you would like to go with them would she allow you to go? I was dating and then engaged to someone for 7 years. Eventually as I had previously gone back to college I graduated and to my horror, there were no teaching jobs available, eventhough I had been told previously, that when I got out of school I would have a job waiting for me. The economy climate had dramatically changed in my area with several school closings etc, and then on top of that, my son was given yet another diagnosis. Needless to say, it was very stressful. We did not live together, but he was staying at my home as it was very close to his job rent free, and sometimes he helped with food utilities costs etc, but still did not think that he should start to help out or even give me any of the money that I lent him to keep his home. Needless to say, this scenario wore thin, and we started to argue a lot. Not abandoning someone he said that he loved? He got mad for one last time, and I locked the door. I mentioned above that he was only the second man in over 20 years that I had in my bed, and honestly, he was the ONLY man I had ever truly let into my heart. Fast forward to 6 mos ago. In spite of our estrangment for a year. My Ex found out of two horrific tragedies, and one upsetting situation that I recently suffered. One my Kittie dying, two my brother killing himself, and three, my finally getting a steady fairly lucrative job out of teaching, and then alas, it was eliminated due to once again, the economy.. He reached out to me, and I caved. AND I recently found out that he has not dated anyone other than to talk to people as I have done as well But he, who before me had a penchant for getting over someone, by getting under someone else? Had not only not done that, but had told anyone who would listen that he still wanted me back. Ok, now, finally, my questions, and hence the need for a male perspective Once the tear dust settles, and I am once again my happy, free-thinking, JOYFUL self, which I most decidely am not right now, is this just about him reaching out because he really does love me now, and hates to see me suffer so much? Is he just feeling sorry for me, and because he is lonely, he is latching onto the familiar? Is he manipulating me again though I do not think that he was aware of it, I do think that for a lot of the relationship, he did do this, but then, I am no victim, I allowed him to do so, eventhough at the time I was also not aware of this. Does he really mean that he LOVES us this time, and can a man change his mind again and really mean it? One other little item of interest? I am not reacting, nor am I expecting, I am merely grateful for the kindness. I still do love him, but I no longer feel the way that I once did. Losing my only family other than my son, to suicide, really changed a lot of things for me. I am not the same person. Which makes his renewed interest even more interesting. I have always had a lot of things that I had to deal with in life that would have made a lesser woman fall down and stay down. Plus, I am exhausted, and though I try to keep my sense of huma, I am profoundly sad. This man never seemed to understand how hard it has been to raise my son with mulitple disabilities alone he is 20 this month and put my life and my dreams on hold, and yet, now, when I have very little fight left, he is all of the sudden rushing in like a Low Rent Gallahad. And more importantly, will it last? I am trying to get help, and I have no intention of not resuming my former reputation of Ms Never Say Die, but it is going to take a lot. A lot of time, a lot of tears, and a lot of patience. Plus, my health is not good, or at least not as good as it used to be. When we were together he could barely handle it at all when I got sick. I hardly ever did, but now?? All of the women that I have asked will call him a Narcissist, or a loser, and tell me that I am better off. I am not wired that way. I eagerly await your comments. PS Ladies, feel free to add whatever you would like to say as well, but keep in mind, just like all women are different, so it is with all men. If HE had not reached out to me, and if HE had not initiated the re-pay scenario, and if HE had not suddenly he never has EVER said this before copped to being selfish etc, I would not be on this website asking these questions. However, it never hurts to ask Mr. Just as you changed. I would take him back but not wholly. I would keep back just a little to see if he has truly changed. Then after a time to see if he had really changed, I would slowly release that final bit. Trust but not completely trust. Also you have your son to think about. How is he handling it all? I too have an adult 25 disabled child MS. But thankfully she has found herself a gem of a man who helps me take care of her. They got married last week and will continue to live with me. I too have been left by someone recently. Someone who healed my broken heart after my divorce. He said that he would always be there for me and now he is gone. I doubt that he will ever return. And now I have to decide whether I want to let my heart heal again or just lock it up tight. I am also not in the best of health, I have Lupus. And that makes for some interesting times in this house between the 2 auto-immune diseases. Just stay strong and Smile! Whether it is for good or just a short time. Enjoy that time with him. You never know what tomorrow will bring. I am sorry to her about your situation, and I get that you may feel like you want to give up on this love thing as well. My ex has said that he knows exactly what he wants now and has had those months to think about everything, and he loves me and wants to be with me. So far, my ex is making a lot of positive changes and only time will tell how long this lasts. I hope that whoever is meant to be with you and in your life will be! There is a somebody for everybody, I really believe this. I agree that people can change, but they have to want to , and I for one do not want to wait for someone to act the way he should have been acting all along. Shite of get off the pot? LOL I am also very happy for you and your daughter, unfortunately, my son willl never be there. His situation is no longer as much of a factor if I choose to date again however. Thank you for your kind response. One day at a time. My boyfriend just broke up with me. We were together for 8 months. This women, after 3 years, left him while he was at work. Packed up her stuff and moved out without explanation. While we were together he almost never talked about her unless prompted and said what she did was unforgivable. We had talked about our future, marriage possibly, having a child…. Can anyone, preferably a man, explain to me what is going on? Why would he just change his mind suddenly? How can men lose their feelings so quickly? Any insight would be great! Thanks Reply Joseph Rossi May 31, Depending on your age, talking about marriage, having a child, and the rest of your lives talk really freaks guys out. When you go from one relationship, being hurt, then into another relationship and rushing into things that fast, mixed emotions can set in. Your boyfriend has commitment issues. Now you know what you want for your own future and you can only become a better person from it. Reply KindaM January 30, This is also what happened to me. Almost word for word. I want to approach the subject of possibly going back to him.. How long do you wait for someone? We never fought, he just got scared. Reply Beqaj August 28, I smell a liar. Keep it private, your own insanity… When you get it together, you will be stronger, and less willing to settle for the bull. This process may take 2 years or more. I personally think he is a user. He asked me if we could just date, and he would give me time to decide. But then he change it.
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