Weird things that turn guys on. The List Thus Far.



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Weird things that turn guys on

Continue Reading Below Advertisement Hawking your dirty booty-slings isn't limited to obscure corners of Reddit. You've probably heard that Japan used to have vending machines that sold pre-worn panties. Nowadays, the Japanese government makes commercials to discourage that trade. Not because it's creepy, mind you, but because a man might've worn those panties. But an aspiring panty vendor can find unnervingly exhaustive guides online at the aptly-named "sellpantiesformoney. I'm a student and work a regular job in the summer, and I work as much as I can during the school year, but nothing compares to the money I've made auctioning off my laundry pile. I can make between bucks a pair, and I don't even have to leave my apartment. I'm not a Victoria's Secret model, either -- human sexuality is a galaxy of different fetishes, and there's no age or body type that doesn't have a thriving Internet community dedicated to worshiping it. There's even a demand from women for dirty men's underpants, and you'd be surprised how many fetishes there are within the underwear-selling market. Whether your erotic poison is a pregnant woman's bloomers or the tattered old high school boxer shorts of some musclebound Danish dude, you can find it somewhere on the Internet. Continue Reading Below But here's where things start to get kind of gross When I first started, I posted a few pictures of a certain pair of panties onto the forum, and then got an influx of private messages from interested buyers. While I sold that pair specifically as is, I started to develop ongoing buyers who would make requests such as length of time worn, activities done in them going to the gym, having sex, peeing or leaving skid marks, etc. A few even buy in bulk, because sometimes you need to treat your masturbation supply shopping like a trip to Costco. Selling muddy underpants is an honest business. Neither of us was in a position to offer any judgment on the other, and I'm competing in a service industry here. I'm sure that there are a few ways a seller could cheat when putting an order together like spitting in your underwear to make them extra, uh, crusty , but it isn't worth the risk of getting a bad review. If word gets out on Reddit that your product is anything less than genuine, you could get banned. If someone wants me to pay me to wear panties for 48 hours straight, I wear those sons of bitches for 48 hours straight. Nothing cruelly kept cooped up in a drawer. The messages I get are generally short and professional. Sure, there is the occasional guy who just wants to talk dirty to me and doesn't really want to buy anything, but I do most of my business on Reddit, so if a guy isn't following the rules or gains a bad reputation with the sellers, we can talk to the moderators and have that person banned for being scummy. I've only ever turned down two requests: My boyfriend doesn't mind my side business, but he had absolutely no interest in helping me fill that order. Just like the buyers, a seller has to be verified by the moderators, and can be banned for misusing that information. But there's still an enormous amount of good faith involved in giving a strange woman your home address and the electronic equivalent of cash in exchange for a used pair of her underwear. No, these Hanes are your way, sir! I'm not exactly proud of it, but I'm certainly not ashamed. The way I see it, it isn't any more exploitative than having to work at Taco Bell until 4 a. But being part of this big market of panty-slingers means you've got to work extra hard to find the customers who want to buy your particular "brand" of dirty underwear. Even if it involves literal shit. Continue Reading Below Advertisement You really do have to get good at knowing your own body, and what types of lighting and angles are the most flattering. Many times, to make a sale, I also have to include pictures that I didn't post to Reddit. I keep my face out of the shot, of course, but it's still not easy having to make amateur porn for strangers that they may or may not keep forever on their computers as the necessary precursor to getting my paycheck. But again, it's still better than Taco Bell. Continue Reading Below Continue Reading Below Advertisement The nice thing about this, uh, business is that you build up a stable of dedicated clients rather quickly. I've only actually posted nine or ten pairs online -- the majority of my buyers now are people I've dealt with before who message me privately when they want to place a new order. It's weird to have that kind of "relationship," where you maintain regular contact with a person just because they like to masturbate with your used underwear, but in a way, it's less personal than porn acting. Your face and name aren't necessary. Only your sweat and other unmentionable personal stains matter. After a while, you start to notice bizarre trends beyond the obvious "people will pay money for a pair of used panties". For example, there's a lucrative market for the middle-and-high-school underwear of adult women. There are a lot of terrifying implications in play here, not the least of which is the fact that me selling my old middle school underpants might have prevented a crime. It takes brass ovaries to sell underwear. I'm not sure if that's merely a coincidence of my own experience or if there is a panty fetish epidemic on the East Coast, but I probably get four or five requests a week from eager Bostonians looking to score some female understains. Christmas-themed underwear with little bells on them sold pretty well for me this past year. Fulfilling that sort of request feels weird at first, and then one day someone asks, "Do you do pairs with skid marks? I get a lot of requests for period and skid mark panties I guess some men really enjoy the idea of a girl with the personal hygiene of a shop towel: I just made a week's worth of groceries by wearing underwear for two days and being a little slapdash with showers and wiping. A lot of people do that for free. Got a story to share with Cracked? We guarantee your anonymity and you can message us here. Spread Cracked addiction among your friends, click the Facebook 'share' button below! How Bad Behavior Built Civilization , a celebration of the brave, drunken pioneers who built our civilization one seemingly bad decision at a time. Weird things that turn guys on

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9 Comments

  1. The bike lanes were gone the next day. The Iron Man [Tetsuo] β€” A man inexplicably transforms into metal, set to an industrial soundtrack in grainy 16mm black and white Thundercrack! Atmo HorroX β€” A creature with balloons tied to his crotch hunts people who are prescribed a certain medication I think The Atrocity Exhibition β€” Series of bizarre sketches based on a J.

  2. No, these Hanes are your way, sir! They were only asking Rp 30,, and it would have offered a very different view of Jakarta.

  3. It's an instrument in the same way a tool a mad scientist uses to remove one of your limbs is an instrument. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Hawking your dirty booty-slings isn't limited to obscure corners of Reddit. Pasar Santa is the epitome of cool and a great place go to eat and do some people watching.

  4. The blaster beam was an orgasmatron. I have heard a lot of pedophile jokes about Catholic priests, but this ripe arena for comedy remains untouched except for one episode of Freak Show written by two hilarious Jews, David Cross and Jon Benjamin. Christmas-themed underwear with little bells on them sold pretty well for me this past year.

  5. The oversize coffee mugs from this company that say "Keep Austin Weird: Whether your erotic poison is a pregnant woman's bloomers or the tattered old high school boxer shorts of some musclebound Danish dude, you can find it somewhere on the Internet. He was on a boring one-on-one date with the frustratingly taciturn Lauren B.

  6. You hate them for enforcing their draconian language laws, but you admire them for resisting the Disneyfication of North America. Anyone who threw a snake, they said, would be ejected. Christmas-themed underwear with little bells on them sold pretty well for me this past year.

  7. So he walked away to get permission to tell her that he was falling in love? One night we scooped up or pennies, several dimes and nickels, and a couple of quarters.

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