Wedding vows for groom to bride. Wedding Topics.



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Wedding vows for groom to bride

Redneck Wedding Vows Redneck wedding vows fall under the humor category unless you happen to be the recipient. If you've ever actually heard redneck wedding vows then that means you've either been to a hillbilly wedding or been in one. If either has occurred then our condolences. In order for there to be redneck wedding vows, one would only assume rightfully so that a redneck wedding has to have taken place first. Appropriate locations for reciting the redneck wedding vows will be inside the back of a pickup truck in the Wal-Mart parking lot or outside of a NASCAR race. To recite redneck wedding vows willfully and with gusto the mood must be set before time. Guests with beer cans, cigarettes, missing teeth, coon dogs, guns and wearing lots of camouflage is a must. In fact, if both the bride and groom are wearing camouflage this is a bonus. As the bride walks down the isle, marching to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird" or "Sweet Home Alabama," and a cardboard cutout of Jeff Foxworthy in the front row, the guests will be spitting their tobacco left and right. This is perfectly acceptable redneck etiquette. Now, if you happen to be wondering just what redneck wedding vows are, here are few samples: I, Zeke, take you Wanda, to be my wife, to so that you clean up my beer cans and wipe the foam off my mouth when I've had too much to drink. Be good to my dog, and we'll get along just fine. With this beer tab, I thee wed. Don't nag me or take the guns from my gun rack without asking. In the Lord's name, Amen. I take you to be my cherished partner, to go with me to all NASCAR races and to stay home and rear our batch of toothless and shoeless children. I promise to protect you using lethal force if necessary and if I'm not too drunk. As the Lord and friends today are my witness, I promise to be good to you and your gabby friends, not make you do too much housework and come back every several days even when I'm out hunting. To my kissing cousin, I thee wed, I promise not to give you the gene that will cause a bunch of high forehead children. I also promise not to get drunk on Thursdays and to bring home a possum and a coon every once in a while for dinner. These are only a few samples of redneck wedding vows that have been spoken over the years. Take what you need and leave the rest. Or send us your own funny wedding vows as we would indeed like to see them. In fact here is a sample redneck wedding vow sent in by one of our visitors: Wedding vows for groom to bride

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9 Comments

  1. May God bless you. My lord, in your grief, I shall fill your heart with strength, In your happiness, I shall rejoice. Non-secular weddings are becoming more popular in Ireland due to a declining influence of the Catholic Church.

  2. Then after an ektenia and several longer prayers the priest places crowns on the heads of the bride and the groom. First, speaking the vows provides a fuller, richer symbol of your consent to be married.

  3. It is also necessary for all marriages commence with the best of intentions. Then a procession takes place during which the priest wraps his epitrachelion stole around the joined hands of the bride and groom and leads them followed by their attendants who are holding the crowns three times around an analogion on which the Gospel Book has been placed.

  4. Ek beloof om jou te ondersteun as jou lewensmaat in die goeie en slegte tye van die lewe in siekte en gesondheid, asook in die vreugde en hartseer tye van die lewe. You have brought auspeciousness and sacredness into my life.

  5. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I, Zeke, take you Wanda, to be my wife, to so that you clean up my beer cans and wipe the foam off my mouth when I've had too much to drink. And they recite their vows in the coolest way possible — while taking 7 steps around a fire.

  6. Many civil wedding ceremonies take place in local town or city halls or courthouses in judges' chambers. During the civil ceremony, the parents offer the married couple two crystal glasses, which they are asked to break.

  7. My beloved, now that you have walked the five steps with me, you have enriched my life. As the Lord and friends today are my witness, I promise to be good to you and your gabby friends, not make you do too much housework and come back every several days even when I'm out hunting.

  8. Will you care for your husband if he becomes ill? In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

  9. I, name , take you, name , for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. If either has occurred then our condolences. Name , receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.

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