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What are the Biggest Dating Red Flags?
Spot the early red flags of a psychopath to avoid the serious harm they will inevitably bring to you and your life. None of the signs on the list below can stand on its own, but together they paint an overall picture that serves as a warning you should heed. Need someone confident, outgoing and warm? The psychopath can do that. Need someone sensitive and a bit bumbling, but with a heart of gold? He can do that, too. This charm causes you — his target — to fall under his spell while he focuses intensely on you. His focus is very pleasing to the mind and senses, and it disables your personal boundaries, your gut instincts and your self-protective behavior just when you need them most. It induces a trance-like sate — a pleasant, relaxed and focused state of mind that leaves you open to suggestion. You will find yourself wanting to be back in the focus of his potent charm again and again. This superhuman charm is often one of the first and ONLY early red flags of a psychopath, and it is exactly what makes it hard to walk away. Absolutely comfortable in his own skin. His ease puts you at ease — you feel comfortable with him, like the two of you have known each other forever. May come across as unassuming and soft-spoken while still maintaining a distinct aura of confidence and presence. Especially watch for someone who exudes a black-leather toughness and a childlike innocence at the same time. He or she is a glib, smooth talker. Never runs out of amusing anecdotes, and can make the most mundane topics seem interesting and entertaining. He does most of the talking most of the time. The purpose of this is to relax you and make you comfortable with him. He or she will quickly divulge personal details and stories about his past and his life. This will create a false sense of intimacy that causes you to reciprocate with details about your own life so it seems like you two are getting close. You have never had so much fun with anyone. You do things you never did before, just little adventures that take you away from the mundane, and you realize how small and boring your life had become, and how stale the world had seemed. Or maybe you did know it, and now along comes the perfect person to help you do it! He may tell you nothing gets him down. He or she is a very active person who is always on the go. A psychopath is easily bored, but seldom boring. He looks at you in a way no man has before; he keeps his eyes on you and gives you his complete attention. It feels flattering and seductive. You have never before felt so beautiful, handsome or sexy. You feel very good about yourself in his presence. Your insecurities about your attractiveness and likeability vanish as if they never existed. You have become intensely physically attracted to him or her, more than you have ever felt with anyone else or even knew was possible. If you meet at some sort of a group setting, such as a dance class, he will give you the bulk of his time and attention. He or she showers you with attention and affection. You will not feel neglected in any way at this point. He always has or makes time for you. This stage is known as love-bombing. There will be many verbal declarations of appreciation and of their feelings about you and all your wonderful qualities, and amazement at all the things you have in common or at how lucky you both are to have found each other. Your days of unrequited love are finally over. The relationship will feel…magical. Believing someone is your soul mate is, unfortunately, one of the biggest red flags of a psychopath. The only thing that can stop it is the awareness of the chance your soul mate might not be who you think he is, and this awareness may help you retain your abilities to see clearly and think critically. Psychopaths are incapable of feeling love, and the only thing they want you for is self-gratification. So how can you tell the difference? After all, why would you ever think to question something so wonderful? It would never cross your mind to do so, until you become aware of the possibility that all may not be as it appears. Here are some ideas that may help you avoid involvement with a psychopath: Take any new relationship slowly, especially an intense one. Control the pace, as opposed to letting the other person control it. Be leery of someone who gets serious quickly. How can someone love you deeply and know they want to be with you forever if they barely know you? There is no rush. Time is your friend. Develop clear boundaries, and defend them. Boundaries do not isolate you from others — they only protect you from manipulative people who do not respect you or have your best interests at heart to say the least. They let the good in while keeping the bad out. Boundaries protect you and all that you value. I was really glad I bought it. How I wish I would have read this book years ago. Well written, clear, and concise. So thankful I came across this quick, but powerful read. I so appreciate the wisdom I found in this writing. I feel empowered once more! Easily rated at 5 stars. Find out what runs you, process traumas from your past and identify your deepest fears, desires and needs. This is one of the best defenses. Make someone earn your trust…and then expect them to keep it. Being trustworthy is an ongoing thing. Psychopaths are the ultimate cons. Delay sex because once you have it, your neurochemistry will shift and you will feel deeper attraction, a craving for your partner and more investment in the relationship. Pacing and slowing down lets you keep control and make clear-headed decisions. Sex seals the deal. Learn the tactics of covert, or hidden, emotional manipulation. When you are aware of them, you have a far better chance of seeing them at play. Where was this Book before!! A must read for anyone that is lost in a relationship. I would like to thank the author for an eye opening experience! This book has clarified more for me than I have ever understood in my entire life time… It is straight forward the author tells you exactly what you need to hear. To the author, again thank you for opening my eyes. This is a great book. It gave me the strength to move on and leave. It looks like that to others around us, and of course it looks like that to us, too, during this stage of the game. We fell for Dr. Jekyll, after all, not Mr. Those are the signs that tell you that you need to watch out for what comes next. Staying alert can help prevent an entanglement with a psychopath, while still preserving the opportunity to move forward with a person who has honest intentions.
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