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Crazy Cat Lady
How do you know when your cat's done cleaning herself? She's smoking a cigarette. What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog? What do you call a pile of kittens? When is a lion not a lion? When he turns into his cage! Why don't cats like online shopping? They prefer a cat-alogue. What did the cat on the smart phone say? Can you hear meow? Why are cats so good at video games? Because they have nine lives! What do you call a flying cat? What did the cat say when he lost all his money? Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens. What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother's sister? Who are cats going to vote for in November? Why shouldn't you kidnap the kitten, Keanu? Because curiousity killed the cat burglar. What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left? None, because they were copycats! Hell yeah I'm a catholic i've been addicted to cats my whole life Q: What do you call a cat in a station wagon? What do tigers wear in bed? Why did the cat wear a dress? She was feline fine. What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? What do you call an alternative rock band fronted by felines? Death Cab for Kitty. How do you get a wet pussy? Put it in the shower. Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge? Because it turns "ice" into "mice"! What is smarter than a talking cat? Why was the cat sitting on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse! What is the most breathless thing on television? The Pink Panter Show! What did the cat say when he lost his toys? You got to be kitten me. What is a cat's favorite color? What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo? Why did the cat sleep under the car? Because he wanted to wake up oily. What do you get if you cross a chick with an alley cat? What did the alien say to the cat? Take me to your litter. What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar? How are tigers like sergeants in the army? They both wear stripes! What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep? Why is the desert lion everyone's favorite at Christmas? Because he has sandy claws! How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Do you want to hear a bad cat joke? What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman? What is a French cat's favorite pudding? What looks like half a cat? What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What's a tiger? What do you call a cat that wears make up? What do cats like to read? What kind of sports car does a cat drive? What do you get when you take a Kitty Kat to the tailor? What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants? What do you call a cat who just ate a duck? What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? What is a lion's favorite food? What happened when the lion ate the comedian? What's striped and bouncy? A tiger on a pogo stick! What is the cat's favorite TV show? How can you get a set of teeth put in for free? What is a cat's favorite dance move? Why was the cat scared of the tree? Because of its bark. What do you feed an invisible cat? What's worse than raining cats and dogs? How is cat food sold? What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head? What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food? What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have? Who was the most powerful cat in China? What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree? What do you call a cat race? Why did the cat get pulled over by the police? Because it "littered" Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim? Why did the cat join the Red Cross? Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit! When the cat's away? The house smells better! What is a cats favorite vegetable? Did you know that cats designed the great pyramids of Giza? It was all drawn out on paw-pyrus.
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