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Marriage Counseling - How To Stop Fighting And Name Calling
Share this article Share I made light of what was happening, even though it robbed me of my confidence and self-esteem. After all, I was a man. How could I be a victim of someone nearly half my size? According to recent British Crime Survey statistics, a third of domestic violence victims are male. Not long after the wedding we went travelling around the world for a few months. It was while away, on a boat from Hong Kong to Shanghai, that I witnessed her temper for the first time. She was gone ages and when she came back her face was contorted with rage. She accused me of having moved, and that her looking for me had caused her to trip on a metal bar and bang her shin. This was the first small step towards becoming a victim of abuse. When we returned home, my wife was pregnant, which seemed to make her temper tantrums more frequent. And towards the end, she turned violent. It meant that when the slapping and punching started, it seemed less shocking. Asking her to stop never worked. Hurting a woman was wrong so I let her get on with it until she calmed down. In between these rages she could be kind and loving, and this would give me hope that the marriage might work, especially after the birth of our daughter. Apparently, this is typical. I lost friends as she hated me seeing them and they hated coming round because she was so cold to them. I felt weak, ashamed and assumed, wrongly, that they would judge me. I worked from home as a freelance graphic designer, which cut me off from the normal world even more. I tried to appear happy but felt powerless. I started having panic attacks and felt depressed and was constantly tired. I concentrated on getting through each day. Three years after we married, we had another daughter and moved house. I hoped a fresh start would help her see sense. But she began to involve the children. Finally, eight years after we wed, I summoned up the courage to leave. The spell had been broken and I realised there was an alternative. So, one June morning I packed my bags and moved in with my mum. I took the girls with me but eventually shared custody with her. I got out in time. The year-old was nearly killed after a sustained assault by his girlfriend, Michelle Williamson. It remains a taboo subject I was too scared to call the police but a neighbour saw me covered in blood and reported it. He said if I told him that the person in the house had committed the violence, which he strongly suspected she had, he could help me. Ian is still waiting for reconstructive surgery on his face — two years after the final attack. My psychological scars healed a lot quicker. Within weeks of leaving my wife, the fun side of me began to return. I contacted old friends who were happy to help me. But police forces and local councils are now starting to recognise there are male victims in their community. Share or comment on this article: Male domestic violence victim: The day my wife beat me because she hated my haircut Most watched News videos.
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