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I'm Not Okay
There is a deep silence that comes with losing your spouse. I mean, what was she thinking? We could call up any number of people if we just wanted to hang out. But we are alone. Our marriages were amputated in the prime of our lives and, for some of us, there is no prosthesis. A lot of us, since our loss, have found comfort in chat rooms and support websites and that has helped relieve the discomfort of the amputation a little. It eases the throbbing a bit, but when we look down, the limb is still missing. We get support from people who understand what REAL retail therapy is. People who get that a sleepless night with a newborn is one thing while a sleepless night with a dead spouse is a whole other deal. And you were so young! But when we roll over, well, our spouses already know that they died. It spoils it a little. The person who cared when something really great or really bad happened is missing. The person who was just as excited and saddened by the milestones of our kids is someplace else I hope. The person who was just as invested in our lives and the decisions we made is now again, hopefully enjoying everlasting comfort while we slug it out down here on our own. Do you remember the moment that you truly felt the change? I mean, the time when you realized that this was it? When you catapulted from married to involuntarily single? For you, it may not have been a moment. But it was for me. As most of us feel, I would give anything for just one more day, one more conversation with my husband. She is also a writer, public speaker, and mother to three young entertaining children. She received a degree in English from Rollins College in and has since worked as a writer, editor, Marketing Manager, and Event Planner. Originally from Louisiana, Ms. Tidd currently lives in Denver, CO. To read more of Catherine's work, visit http:
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