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What To Do When Your Boyfriend Lies To You
When their lips are moving! When it comes to narcissists and other abusive personalities: Words are just noises they make with their mouth. On Thursday she was posting Facebook pictures of herself with her new soulmate, our neighbor from three doors down. Have you ever heard of something like that? How could she change so quickly? How could he change so quickly? She said she wanted to have an amicable divorce. Many of my clients struggle with the disconnect between what their narcissistic or borderline spouses say and what their narcissistic or borderline spouses do. It very quickly becomes crazy-making. Sometimes these inveterate liars will contradict themselves within the same sentence, and then gaslight you when you try to hold them accountable. No need to plumb the shallow depths of Lake Crazy on this one. You make sense of it by accepting the reality of the narcissist. They screw people over. They say whatever is most expedient in the moment to get what they want in the moment, and that changes moment to moment to moment. They lie when the truth would serve them better. Narcissists are pathological liars who are incapable of love, at least in an emotionally mature sense. Narcissists, borderlines, psychopaths and other Unidentified Flying Crazies can and do tell the truth sometimes. But how do you know? Even when pathological liars tell the truth, how do you know when to believe them or call bullshit? When the narcissist is making threats. Many abusers take a perverse pleasure in lulling you into an illusory sense of security before plunging the knife in your back, front or middle. Most of the time the truth lies in their actions, not their words. When the narcissist is being cruel. Their cruel words are their perception of you, not necessarily an accurate reflection of you. Since they know your sore spots and vulnerabilities, they typically mix a few grains of truth in with their cruel barbs and rest is exaggeration, distortion and projection. When the narcissist is bragging about hurting you or others. Narcissists like to boast and gloat about how they plan to hurt and best you and others i. This is different from making threats. This is like the serial killer who reveals themselves to the police because they want the world to know how clever they are. Seriously, these a-holes really do feel a sense of pride about hurting, cheating and duping others. Why do they lie? F-cked up people do f-cked up things. Continuing to try to figure out why the narcissist is a narcissist, or figuring out how to end the relationship with the narcissist? Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Palmatier, PsyD provides services to help individuals work through their relationship issues via telephone or Skype, particularly men and women who trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Want to Say Goodbye to Crazy?
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