Hot grunge girls. Great films that have not aged well.



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Grunge Staff GrungeHQ Many great films hold up over time, no matter how long it's been since they debuted. Other movies … not so much. They made a splash upon their initial release, but their luster faded fast. Movies like the following, while still great movies, now look more outdated than your grandfather pretending he understands the hip-hop. It's a wonderful throwback to those precious golden years when Mel Gibson was a fun kind of crazy, and not the kind you shamefully pretend doesn't exist anymore. You know what else it is? A reminder that movies, even exquisitely filmed ones like Braveheart, can be harmed by the smallest, stupidest mistakes nowadays. According to this video, there are at least three seemingly minor, but honestly absurd, production errors that, once you see them, you can't see the movie the same way again. There's a dude sporting a baseball hat in the background of one scene. A humongous battle scene takes a backseat to a car just milling about in the background. And yet another battle scene features one of William Wallace's men, front-and-center, berserker rage at Mach 20, wielding a wobbly, plastic axe the director's intern probably found at Party City that morning. Braveheart came from a simpler time, when you could get away with dumb goofs like this and still proudly showcase your award-winning masterpiece. But now, we live in the Age of the Internet Nitpicker. People will find every single stupid mistake a movie made, even for a fraction of a frame, and when they do, they will pounce on it. If a movie isn't percent perfect, it's a travesty. So no way would a this-millennium Braveheart have made it through production with some guy in a ball cap chilling nearby, no way would rubber weapons go anywhere near an actor's hands, and they'd sooner blow up a car than let one make it into their 13th-century period piece. If they did … well … you might not be able to take away Wallace's freedom, but you sure could take away his Oscar. Hackers Hackers is Windows 95 cyberculture as seen by clueless Hollywood, a film about super-hot, super-genius, teenage uber-hackers, who hack each other for lulz just as effortlessly as they hack evil corporations for seriouzzez. If 4Chan had existed in , these kids would be their Mary Sues. This movie clearly knows squat about computer culture and hacking, making the activity cartoonishly sexy and exciting for no real reason other than "that's what Hollywood does with everything. You know that CSI scene where two people furiously type on the same damn keyboard, while billions of images and letters flash on-screen at light speed, and some guy simply unplugs the computer to end the hack, and that's supposed to be how computers work? Picture that, only dumber. Then there's the tech itself, virtually every bit of which seem quaint nowadays. One character marvels at a laptop with a Yes, it's difficult to tell an evergreen story about technology — try watching a movie with flip-phones without commenting "holy crap, flip-phones? And yet somehow, it's the unlikable characters who may have aged worst of all. It's obnoxious bad guys against uncool bad guys — one kid gets arrested for hacking at age 11, is sentenced to not touch a computer until he's 18, and the second that happens, he starts hacking again. If that's not a sociopath in the making, it's real close. The kids insist "their crime is curiosity," which is only slightly better than a bad boyfriend who thinks his biggest weakness is that he cares too much. The film has the kids fight an evil conglomerate simply so they seem even a trifle likeable. You'll have fun with this cheesy popcorn muncher, for sure, as long as you don't expect to root for anybody. Also, you'll marvel at the tech, but not like how the movie wanted you to. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom We love the whip and fedora as much as anyone. But Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom simply wouldn't work today, and not just because Harrison Ford is old enough to wheeze and nap his way through the entire Kessel Run. It's not even because a film theoretically meant for children is, as we've explained before , darker than a hundred of the darkest darknesses — that's totally cool today, unless you're Superman. No, the real issue with this otherwise great film is the reel-to-reel racism toward anyone who isn't pale as Indy. He's obviously not going around slaughtering innocents because their skin is darker than his — he is the good guy, after all — but the film's casual attitude toward racial stereotypes is … unsettling at best. Its approach to Indian culture is beyond paranoid, and Short Round isn't just a cute little Asian kid stuck in there for comic relief — he's a cute little Asian kid who can barely speak Engrish, and who gets saddled with dopey lines like "okey dokey, Dr. Jones, hold on to your potatoes," not because it works for the plot or is a particularly funny line, but because it fits his "wacky and not-too-smart foreign kid" character to a sad, sad T. Even if the sum total of the movie is still pretty awesome, there's a lot about Temple of Doom that, today, any half-aware screenwriter would delete two seconds after writing it while sleep-deprived at 4 AM. Even adding in a subplot where it's revealed Dr. Any further Indy-ventures should back away slowly from racial stereotypes and casual racism, and focus solely on fighting the real evils of the world: GoldenEye Ask any James Bond fans about the movies and they'll have their favorites — some might even fight you over them. But as Bond movies go, Goldeneye is still in at least the top ten, far and away the best of the Brosnan four. Seen in its own time as a return to form , it not only features Brosnan's best performance, but also very memorable villains, a clear plot, and great action. But there are still a couple of things about the movie that have aged terribly, and are bound to look worse as time goes on. For one, there's the corny, mushy, electronic score by Eric Serra, which sounds like it came from a bad Sonic the Hedgehog game. You have to hear it to believe it — it's hard to believe now that it was ever deemed worthy of the film. The other details are more inevitable, such as outdated tech. This particularly impacts what was once a badass scene , as our heroine Natalia enters a computer store with a specific list of demands. It's now dated for all the wrong reasons: Are these all you have? How many do you want? Twenty-four for the American school, 11 for the Swedish, IBM compatible with meg hard drives and Year by year, those words mean less and less right down to "pay with dollars. At least the tank scene still owns the night. Peter Pan Peter Pan seems like such a timelessly innocent movie — Pan and the Lost Boys never grow up, spending their days having fun, relaxing, and battling swashbuckling pirates like many a child dreams of. How could that ever be outdated and bad? Simple — how about the Indians? The Indians or Injuns as everyone calls them in Disney's Pan are, to put it politely, totally racist caricatures. They're violent savages who call themselves Injuns, speak Stereotypical Indian "How, me heap Injun Joe" and spit ear-splitting war whoops as frequently as a teenager utters "like. The Lost Boys and the Darlings hunt them like animals, singing truly offensive lines like this one from "Follow the Leader": You can see why many Pan fans prefer to focus on the pirate stuff versus the Native American stuff. The Fast and the Furious Friends, we've been down a long road with Dominic Toretto and the family. And we are a family at this point — we the viewers, good ol' Brian R. Fifteen years with these beautiful rogues. It's crazy to imagine how long it's been … which makes it pretty jarring to go back to the first film in the series, released at the dawn of the new millennium. It was … different! And not in a very good way, either. Aside from the crazy low stakes of the plot a street racer hijacks a truck full of explosives — at no point do we see any signs suggesting we'll eventually just be throwing cars off planes because machismo told us to , the tech is — to put it lightly — wack. Floppy drives in the cars? Look at these ridiculous setups. Someone's ride even has a PlayStation 2, which at this point might as well be a Colecovision, in terms of outdated gamingness. The first movie is basically a souped-up Donnie Brasco, but the recent Fast and Furious installments are about as strong — and arguably even cooler — than most anything Marvel and DC throw our way. Their missions are ridiculous, bombastic, and totally international now, which makes watching their dated, local beginnings kinda weird. It makes for a strange binge marathon, especially when you realize the most outdated, ludicrous part of the whole film: The Rock's not on it. That's not just outdated — that's empty. If that doesn't scream "dated" enough for you, peep this: Because once upon a time, that was new and exciting. Nowadays, you're only excited to get an email if it isn't a bill, spam, a Nigerian prince, or some stupid newsletter from a site you signed up for five years ago but are too lazy to unsubscribe from. The movie takes place during a time when people were more likely to engage each other through AOL Instant Messenger AIM , because social media sites like Twitter or Facebook were more than a decade away from even existing. Nowadays, if you're on AIM, you either lost a bet, or you're this generation's answer to the mom from that Bowling For Soup song about not letting go of More importantly, the movie's central concept hinges on two perfect strangers falling in love without ever meeting in person, seeing each other's face, or learning one single thing about each other. Today, people routinely dig up background information about online chat partners long before that first awkward in-person encounter. People are simply way, way more likely than ever to hire a private investigator to check out that guy they're meeting for McGriddles and coffee on Friday — charming Hanks or no charming Hanks, Meg Ryan's adorable naivete just comes across as needlessly risky these days. Cellular Despite only being made in , Cellular is already super-dated, thanks to the backbone of the plot: It was like a phone … but attached to the wall. You couldn't walk more than a foot or two away from it, you couldn't text, and worst of all, no Clash of Clans. All they had was superior reception and crystal-clear communication. Hardly seems worth it. As Forbes reports , landline phones were still fairly common at the time of Cellular's theatrical release. Today, however, the majority of American households don't use them at all, and the number of people who still have them is plummeting fast. If a house has a landline phone, chances are they only keep it around so the cat has a dangly cord to destroy that isn't important. Sure, Cellular played up cellular technology — it was , so it wasn't exactly some crazy Jetsons theory or anything — but it still rested on the idea that the movie's kidnapped heroine would have a working, active landline that she could finagle and use to communicate with the outside world. As we move toward a future where landline phones are about as relevant as the Pony Express, Cellular becomes harder and harder to see as anything but antiquated. All this, by the way, is without addressing the starring role that the Nokia played in the film. In case you don't remember what the Nokia looked like, it was this thing: You can see why nobody uses it anymore. Hot grunge girls

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5 Comments

  1. Seeing Bullock freak out at viral takeovers isn't believable to a modern audience, who knows well and thoroughly that it's never looked like how the movie presents it. Wayne's World, as great and funny as it may be, is not one of those films.

  2. In case you don't remember what the Nokia looked like, it was this thing: Perhaps not surprisingly, because these bands seemed to be merely ripping off a trendy sound, critics dismissed them as bandwagon-jumpers.

  3. Impossible Perhaps the one remaining clue that Tom Cruise is a human actor, and not an avatar of one of Xenu's tentacles, the Mission: That way, everyone you know will be too dead to call you out for being wrong. Seems pointless — we have pockets, right?

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