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Miena - Heartbreak Survival Kit (Spoken Word Poem)
These four simple statements are powerful tools for improving your relationships and your life. As a doctor caring for seriously ill patients for nearly 15 years of emergency medicine practice and more than 25 years in hospice and palliative care, I have taught hundreds of patients who were facing life's end, when suffering can be profound, to say The Four Things. But the Four Things apply at any time. Comprising just eleven words, these four short sentences carry the core wisdom of what people who are dying have taught me about what matters most in life. We are all sons and daughters, whether we are six years of age or ninety-six. Even the most loving parent-child relationship can feel forever incomplete if your mother or father dies without having explicitly expressed affection for you or without having acknowledged past tensions. I've learned from my patients and their families about the painful regret that comes from not speaking these most basic feelings. Again and again, I've witnessed the value of stating the obvious. Because accidents and sudden illness do happen, it is never too soon to express forgiveness, to say thank you and I love you to the people who have been an integral or intimate part of our lives, and to say good-bye is a blessing. These simple words hold essential wisdom for transforming that which matters most in our lives -- our relationships with the people we love. Free Press, New York Let fate do her worst; there are relics of joy, Bright dreams of the past, which she cannot destroy; And which come in the night-time of sorrow and care, To bring back the features that joy used to wear. Long, long be my heart with such memories filled, Like the vase in which roses have once been distilled; You may break, you may ruin the vase, if you will, But the scent of the roses will hang round it still. Deep within the stillness I can hear you speak. And I believethat angels breathe and that love will live on and never leave. Knowing you are doing something to keep your loved one's memory alive keeps you passionately busy, allows you to tell your sacred story, adds joy to your heart, brings an array of beautiful, loving people into your life, and rewards you with a meaningful life again. Your loud voice will echo in many hearts making sure your loved one is never erased from memory. Forget unkind words I have spoken; remember some good I have done. Forget that I've stumbled and blundered and sometimes fell by the way. Remember I have fought some hard battles and won, ere the close of the day. Then forget to grieve for my going; I would not have you sad for a day, but in summer just gather some flowers and remember the place where I lay, and come in the shade of the evening when the sun paints the sky in the west. Stand for a few moments beside me and remember only my best. Since then, Marshall had lost his wife, two siblings, and son-in-law, as well as many friends and colleagues. Even at his advanced age walking with two canes and battling cancer, he was sought after in his community for his wisdom and good humor. He was glad to give advice to others. They are always with us. I have preserved the father-space inside me. All the trials and tribulations, and the biggest losses that you ever experience, things that make you say, "If I had known about this, I would never have been able to make it through," are gifts to you, opportunities that you are given to grow. That is the sole purpose of existence on this planet Earth. You will not grow if you sit in a beautiful flower garden and somebody brings you gorgeous food on a silver platter. But you will grow if you are sick, if you are in pain, if you experience losses, and if you do not put your head in the sand, but take the pain and learn to accept it, not as a curse or punishment, but as a gift to you with a very, very specific purpose.
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