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I had a very intense relationship with an emotionally insecure, commitment phobic woman. The constant push, pull cycle really messed with my emotions and destroyed my self-esteem and caused associated anxiety over the next argument and breakup threat. Eventually the anxiety got too much and I decided enough was enough so I ended the relationship, even though I was still in love. The backlash and level of hatred she expressed towards me was beyond anything I encountered before. The guilt was crushing! Ever since, I can get extremely anxious in any relationship at the very first inkling of doubt I experience. They may just be protecting themselves! Things started off wonderful. We met and became instant friends…talking for hours on the phone, getting to know each other. It was a connection I have never really experienced before. As we got to know each other as friends, another mutual friend suggested that we all move in together and be roommates. I was excited about the prospect…they were great girls and I saw not issue in living with them. A few weeks after we all agreed to live together…Brenda told me one night that she had feelings for me. I realized at that moment that I had very strong feelings for her too. I suggested that we not live together and that we pursue dating. She agreed initially, but changed her mind, stating that we had made a commitment to a third party and we should honor that. I was disappointed, but I agreed. While we waited to move in, we would go on dates and kiss and hangout…both of us agreeing that once we moved in, we would stop and try to just be friends. When move in day came…she changed her mind again. She said she wanted to be more than friends, that she had feelings for me and wanted to see where it might go. I agreed because I was starting to fall for her and I felt like having her in my life like this was better than just being friends. The first few months were great…and I felt like we were falling in love. And then things began to change. She began to change her mind frequently about what she wanted. One day she would say she wanted to be in a relationship with me…and then the next day she would talk about feeling trapped and wanting to date other people. One day she would talk about how much she loved me…how much she always wanted to be with me…how much she wanted to marry me. And then the next day she would become distant and talk about not wanting to be tied down. It left me confused…hurt…and disappointed. About 7 months into this…Brenda and I had a wonderful weekend with her family. After that, she told me she was in love with me and wanted to officially be my girlfriend. The thing I had been waiting for for so long had finally happened. I was in love with her and I had never been happier. This lasted for a few weeks. And then she began to get upset with me about silly things. And other really small things started to bother her until she started to become distant again and told me she was feeling trapped and wanted to date other people. I felt like I had finally felt comfortable to expect something real from her only to be left disappointed. A few days later…she apologized. Said she was being crazy and felt scared and we got back together. She kept changing her mind and going back and forth about what she wanted. So we officially ended things. The difficulty of this situation comes from a few places: We still live together and I am finding the process of getting over someone I still see constantly difficult 2. She continues to ask me to cuddle, sleep together, do things for her, and be intimate. Which I am increasingly tempted to do because I am so in love with her. Literally out of nowhere. Our relationship is definitely much more than intimacy. We have very long intellectual conversations and such. What should I do? We are crazy about eachother and spend a lot of time together doing things like a couple. Hell he practically lives at my house. He has even told me he loves me. Past relationships have made him shy of taking that step. So all I asked is that he take a baby step and if he decides to go out with another woman to be honest and let me know. He understood and agreed. We have trust and an amazing connection. He treats me like a princess. I can put labels on the back burner for a man like him. How desperate does this sound? Think of yourself dealing with someone who is more into you, than you are to them. I was in love with him for these two years but towards the end I started to give up. He knew about my feelings for him, but he would never commit and find an excuse when something got too intimate. Eventually my current boyfriend got jealous and after about 3 months confessed all his feelings for me and was finally ready to commit. However, I have had to use some of the steps mentioned in this process. Is there a way i can bring it up without scaring him? He texts daily and see each other 1 to 2 x per wk…but he is slow to initiate plans, and seems tentative to open up….
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