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Police Officer enter wrong House and get Man Handle
Everyone is involved, from blondes, the State Patrol to the elderly and our teenagers. This page jabs at them, but I'm proud of the job all the Officers do in our town. That's Comedy, the best joke book on the internet! Get a copy today. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window After several minutes, the cop explained to the gentleman that he didn't stop, he just slowed down a little. The gentleman said 'Stop or slow down, what's the difference? The cop pulled the guy out of the car and worked him over for about a minute and then said, 'Would you like for me to stop or just slow down? He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back! What's the problem officer? You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. No sir, I was going You were going Man gives his wife a dirty look. I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. I didn't know about a broken tail light! Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt. Shut your mouth, woman! Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? No, only when he's drunk. They'll stretch after you wear them a while. Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you. I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh? Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor? You want a warning? Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can. You're right, we don't. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: He looks around and sees that no one is looking at him as he kicks the head. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses. You're getting a ticket! She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park So how could you get lost? Homer whispered, "I wasn't lost I was just too tired to walk home. As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother? A sign comes up that reads, " Low Bridge Ahead. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walk s to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh? The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like? She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar. The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving. Is there a problem, Officer? Ma'am, you were speeding. Can I see your license please? I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. I can't do that. I stole this car. Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Is there a problem sir? One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Is this your car, ma'am? Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
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