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Message for my Wife
For an amazing, and amazingly short, period of time kids speak a language that only their parents can understand. Have you ever been around a parent and their kid, and the kid looks at the parent and says, "Samoopeeepoop clababa pano pano it," and the parent, completely un-phased, replies with something like "No dear, you've had enough graham-crackers, and dinner is in an hour"? I'm going to miss that connection with my kid. I like that for awhile my wife and I were the only ones who could understand her. But now, Duchess is getting much better at talking. Her language skills are really pretty amazing. She's almost mastered subject, object and possessive pronouns. She's getting tenses down, and every once in awhile she'll put together a sentence with multiple clauses and a semi-colon. For instance, if it is putting away her toy train it could be: Then it's just plain old rebellion. Carry me This word is always said at my feet with outstretched arms, and is always said at least twice. It comes from me asking her if she wanted me to carry her when she was slow and I was sick of waiting for her to catch up. I'd say "Want daddy to carry you? She's resisting the change even more than I am. Strawberry This one just left her vocabulary a few weeks ago. I'm pretty sure Stevie cried when she heard Duchess say "Can I have a strawberry? I would keep one in the Smithsonian. But alas, Sawbubby is gone forever - a lost word in a dying language. I don't care how much damage it does. I'd pay for the therapy. I want my daughter to call fifteen "fiveteen" dammit! Something I'm not going to use it in a sentence, just understand that for the last months, every time Duchess has meant to say "Something", she has said something very different. It has made having company over oh so much fun! That is not nice. Now, when people see me quietly stand up after Duchess tells me to "shut up" they assume I'm just a broken shell of the man I once was, when really we're just communicating! I wanted to, and I did - "I wanididid go potty daddy!! She just wants to tell me everything in one, awesome Duchess word, and that is perfectly fine with me. Regular, in-between slow and fast When we sing songs in the car… actually I should just say when we are in the car, because it is the same thing. If we are in the car, we must be singing. Duchess has declared it so. Anyway, she also declares whether we sing the song fast or slowwwwwww. Once she is tired of making us speed up or slow down "The Wheels on the Bus" fiveteen times she'll say, "Ok edeebody. Have a good day! I saved this one for last not only because structurally it makes sense, but because it is my favorite. Duchess and I have a bedtime ritual. We brush our teeth. She spits all over her face. I wipe her face. We read a book. We read another book. She then tells me she would like to read four more books. She pretends to cry. I pretend to acknowledge her pretend cry. Then she gets in bed. We sing songs. I give her a kiss and a hug. I say good night. She says good night. I say I love you. She says I love you. And then I get up and leave the room. Every night — and I'm serious here — every single night after I shut the door she yells "Habagooday! I don't care that it is night and not day. It is something that is wholly hers and I want it to stay that way forever. So I open the door back up, poke my head in and say back "Habagooday, I love you. Habagooday, Dad John What toddler words do you love or miss with your kids? Let's make a dictionary in the comments!! He has it removed and becomes a genius That episode is a parody of Flowers for Algernon — which is a fantastic book. I originally stated that the crayon made Homer a genius, she gently pointed out that it was the other way around! The crayon is in his brain, and it makes him not smart. I post funny micro content like conversations I have with Duchess that have words I didn't include on this list. If you haven't liked the page, I highly encourage it. I even put a widget in the right column for you to click.
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