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Accommodation International Flights Domestic Flights Tours Travel Insurance Car Hire Visas Shopping Dating Humour Amazing Australian Blunders Australia's people are usually pretty smart and ingenious, otherwise they never would have been able to settle this country of vast distances, climatic extremes and poisonous animals, but over the years they have made some real blunders too, below is a small selection of them; Books have been filled with Aussie blunders! Imagine the embarrassment of authorities responsible for security when members of ABC satire program The Chasers managed to drive through all security with a fake motorcade. Their convoy of vehicles, motorbikes and security on foot looked that professional that police waved them through several checkpoints and only when one of them got out of the car disguised as Osama Bin Laden was the whole prank discovered and a TV audience of three million people had a good laugh! ASIO and Jack Roche Jack Roche had overcome his drinking problems by converting to Islam, but unfortunately this brought him into contact with some hardliners and he went to training camps in Afghanistan where he met Osama bin Laden and was instructed to film Israeli embassies in Australia and gather information on a Jewish businessman from Melbourne. Back in Oz he got some doubts about the operation and rang ASIO, Australia's version of the CIA, and left a message on their answering machine that he had just returned from a training mission in Afghanistan and had some valuable information on terrorism. Much to his surprise his call was not returned, so he rang them two more times but ASIO never bothered to ring him back!!! Two years later when the Sari Club in Bali went up in smoke ASIO finally swung into action and Jack, who now lived a normal life working as a teacher in Perth, woke up in the dead of night when special forces in full combat gear smashed their way in to his bedroom and arrested him, much to the surprise of his wife who knew nothing of his past. In May he was put in jail for nine years. Australia's biggest tree killed Australia's biggest, most robust hardwood - years old - has died in december At 79m and with a girth of 20m, El Grande stood alone in a patch of cleared forest in the Tasmanian wilderness. Forestry Tasmania, finally admitted to responsibility for its death through an "accidental burning". Conservationists who have campaigned tirelessly to protect the hardwood forests of this region are outraged, they had already issued a death certificate in May - claiming the tree had been "cooked" by Forestry Tasmania in the regeneration burn - while Forestry Tasmania was waiting until spring to see if the tree would regenerate. The government responded by asking people to send the money back it was not far before elections so they did not demand and threaten like normally happens when people have been overpaid by Centrelink. Cane Toads Some anonymous contributor sent us this photo of an awesome cane toad, they are not usually this big. Australia nowadays has many introduced species of plants and animals, some manage to co-exist without too much impact, some create real environmental problems. Most animals were brought in by your everyday people who had no idea what the consequences would be but the canetoad would have to be the biggest blunder in Australia's history as in this case scientists, paid by the Australian government, went overseas to collect canetoads and returned to Australia and set about thirty of them free in North Queensland in The idea was that they would eat the beetles that were causing economic damage eating the sugarcane but unfortunately the cane toads never touched the beetles but helped themselves to everything else they could find. Wildlife smaller than them they will kill and eat, wildlife bigger than them will eat them and die from the poison they have in glands on their back. The thirty toads that were introduced initially have now multiplied into the countless millions and are spreading across Australia and have recently arrived in Kakadu, Northern Territory where it is expected they will devastate the place as there are vast floodplains which are the perfect breeding ground for them. Some birds have actually adapted and learned how to turn them over and eat their insides avoiding the poison glands on the back. Ingenious Australians have also used the toads to make wallets, stubby coolers etc. Hippies desperate for a thrill but too broke to buy drugs sometimes cut the back with poison glands off the toad, dry it in the sun and then roll it into a joint to smoke don't try this at home!! Some dogs are reported to have turned into druggies by becoming addicted to "cane toad sucking", getting high on the poison. Vet Megan Pickering said she has treated more than 30 dogs suffering from the deadly effects of bufo toxin at her Katherine Vet Care surgery. In an effort to reduce the numbers of this toad Australians sometimes also get the golfclubs out for a round of cane toad golf. Australian pubs in tourist areas often organize cane toad races where punters can buy a toad or bet on them in similar fashion to horse races. In the Northern Territory and in Cairns you can do your bit to save the country by collecting cane toads and being paid a beer per bag at collection depots. Calling In the s the American TV series showing the daily happenings of American emergency services was popular and so it happened that when a Sydney factory caught fire most of the people present tried unsuccesfully to put out the fire while the person given the task of ringing the fire brigade also spent his time unsuccesful as the phone was not answered much to his frustration. Later, after there was nothing left of the factory, it came to light that all the time he had been ringing while in Australia the number for emergency services is ! Canberra's Exploding Hospital Usually when a big explosion is expected people move away to a safe place but when the hospital in Canberra had to be demolished by a big explosion the government thought it a good idea to invite lots of people to come and watch this spectacular event. Controlled explosions to demolish buildings in one hit are common in the U. A first explosion was set off but not much happened, so crews entered the building and made some adjustments to the explosives, and boy, did this make a difference.. Nobody had been allowed within metre of the hospital for the big bang, even though 50 metre was theoretically a safe distance, but soon after the second big explosion had sounded the calm waters of the lake where people had gathered in boats and canoes for a good view got stirred up by spectacular splashes as pieces of steel and concrete rained down from the sky, up to a kilometre away from the explosion. Various pieces of hospital rained down on the spectator crowd resulting in various injuries and even the death of a young girl who was decapitated by a piece of metal. After the smoke cleared it took demoliton crews another three months to remove the rest of the building and make room for the new museum to be built. Victims of this disaster had a seven year wait to receive compensation from the government. Cornelia Rau and Vivian Alvarez Cornelia Rau Cornelia Rau, has lived in Australia since she was a child, but when she was found by Aborigines in north Queensland in a confused mental state she was not helped with psychiatric help but locked up in a Queensland jail for six months on the suspicion of being an illegal immigrant. As if that wasn't enough she was then locked up in South Australia's Baxter immigration detention centre, a remote facility where they normally only hold boatrefugees from Arab and Asian countries, and held there for another four months, until the mistake was finally realized and she was taken to an Adelaide psychiatric unit to be treated for schizophrenia. Her family, who had reported her as missing to police a year ago, was very happy to see her again. She was promised compensation but several years later she was still waiting for this. Cornelia was not the only Australian resident to get in trouble with immigration. It was only through sheer coincidence that four years later an Australian missionary in the Phillipines recognized her from a photo in the media and alerted authorities that she was staying in a Catholic hospice near Manila. Daintree river ferry contract gap Ferry across the Daintree river Cape Tribulation , in the heart of the Daintree rainforest, is one of Australia's top tourism destinations and people from all around the world come to see this amazing place where ancient rainforests run right down to pristine beaches and the Great Barrier Reef. Unless you do a very very long four wheel drive trip around Cooktown, the only direct access to this area is by cable ferry. The local Douglas Shire Council has a contract with a ferry owner to run this service. And even though they had known for the past ten years that the ferry contract would expire on 21 March , they signed a new contract with another ferry company that would start on 1 July !!! Around mid January the council tried to calm their constituents and hotel operators with the news that they were making arrangements to ensure this MASSIVE BLUNDER would not cut off people's acccess to the outside world for over three months, and cost tourism businesses in the area millions of dollars in lost earnings. The council blamed this ginormous blunder on "an administrative oversight", but current ferry owner Colin Andreassen said he had notified council well in advance that tenders should be called for the contract. When 21 March arrived the ferry kept running, to the relief of business owners and community, thanks to the council having spent a big amount of ratepayers dollars buying the ferry for a good deal more than it is worth only a few days before the cutoff date. No word yet on whether the person responsible for this costly blunder will be sacked or not. The new ferry was finally delivered and put in service in November and has since proven a reliable service across the Daintree River When you're on the ferry you may wonder what the above resque equipment is all about. The orange block pictured above is rated for 18 persons, obviously they can not sit on this block but the way this resque equipment is supposed to save people is that they swim next to it while holding on to the ropes on the side. This makes some real good sense on a river where a dozen tour operators make a living out of crocodile spotting tours. It appears even the Titanic was better equipped for an emergency than this ferry. Double army blunder Jake Kovco was serving with the Australian army in Iraq but on 21 April his own pistol discharged and killed him with a bullet in the head, the exact details of this are still a mystery and under investigation. As if this wasn't distressing enough for his family the defence department then returned the wrong body to Australia, when the plane landed in Melbourne it had a coffin on board containing Bosnian contractor Juso Sinanovic! Jake Kovko's widow Shelley was understandably far from happy and rang John Howard out of bed in the middle of the night and gave him a whopping earful. An investigation in to this blunder was launched by the defence department, headed by their most senior female recruit Brigadier Elizabeth Cosson. The person who found the disc handed it in to a radio station where Derryn Hinch broadcast the details. Durians on the plane In late Australia was worried about terrorist attacks and a lot of places, especially airports, were on high alert for Australian standards. And so it happened that cargo handlers at Brisbane airport discovered a powerful smell in the cargo hold of a plane and raised the alarm. Fresh Kut A few years ago Woolworths had a good idea where they would buy whole Dutch cheeses, cut them up into odd shapes of a few hundred grams and sell them individually. The brand name assigned to this was Fresh Kut. As the main customers for this line would be Dutch immigrants it was very unfortunate that the word 'Kut' is Dutch for Map of Tassie! Mossman Swimming Pool This one is unconfirmed but local legend in North Queensland has it that the Olympic size swimming pool in Mosssman can not be used for official records because it was built to olympic size but the builders forgot to account for the tiles so after tiling the pool is undersize! Multiple orgasms in Parliament House In June Victorian MP Jason Wood, Federal member for Latrobe, was talking about genetically modified organisms in his maiden speech in Canberra but ended up mixing up his words a bit, much to the amusement of the crowd, and subsequently the whole country. His embarrassing slip up was caught on camera and available for your entertainment in this movie; NO WAR Early the Australian government was trying to convinve the Australian public that all security measures were in place to avoid any terrorist attacks, well known land marks in Sydney even had special security guards. Northern Territory's illegal National Parks One day a public servant in the Northern Territory was sitting around reading how the law states that National Parks can only be declared over vacant Crown Land that is not subject to an Aboriginal landclaim. As just about the whole Northern Territory is under landclaim he queried this with colleagues and the answer was basically; eh, yeah, you're right, I suppose all those National Parks we have declared the last twenty years are all invalid To avoid ginormous expensive court battles with Land Councils a deal was struck where ownership of a lot of National Parks was handed over to Aborigines. Paul Keating In the days that Paul Keating was prime minister he managed to seriously piss off Malaysia's prime minister Dr. Mahathir by labelling him a "recalcitrant". Despite numerous calls refused to apologize for this resulting to cancellations of billions fo dollars of contracts and trade, even at his retirement in late Dr. Mahathir was still grumbling about it and according to the Bangkok Post he had been instrumental in many Asian trade conferences to block trade deals with Australia so it will never be possible to calculate how many billions of dollars that one word has cost Australia. Paul Keating has insulted enough people during his career to fill a website, so someone has put that together, see it here In he added to his list by calling Tony Abbott a nutter and political nobody. Peacetime bombing Tony Travers, also known as Datto, next to the Toyota 4WD that was bombed in an airforce blunder in Darwin has been bombed quite a bit during World War Two but the most recent one happened during Operation Pitch Black exercise at 9. At the time Tony Travers was preparing a BBQ for himself at his workplace and residence at 2 Strath Road, Berrimah Datto's Rust Repairs , which unfortunately has gone out of business since then due to all this. It landed 20 metres from me and hit a Toyota Landcruiser directly at the rear of my shed. The ensuing destruction as the Kg foot Missile hit the Tojo at approximately Kph shook the dust out of the roof of the shed as it sent a shockwave tearing through the shed. Here are three pics of the carnage that Tony shot that disastrous night in August , showing the missile and the totally rooted Toyo. Click pics to enlarge The wrecked Toyota 4WD, owned by Basil Roe who runs Berrimah Radiators,is still on display outside the radiator shop on Berrimah Road, although with an imitation missile, because the airforce took the evidence back. After a very long time of haggling the airforce was finally gonna cough up some money for the Toyo but only on condition they'd get the wreck. Thanks to Craig Schneider for sending us these two pics! As if Tony didn't have enough bad luck being bombed he also got done for drink driving in The judge was not convinced by his defence that after surviving the bombing he had to drink during every airforce exercise to keep his stress levels down and handed him a prison sentence. Tony is still in a legal battle with the airforce, keep watching this site as Tony will keep us up to date.. Cops release saltwater crocodile in recreation area Kununurra police got called out to a house where a woman had found a crocodile in her laundry. It was later found the croc was left there by her son who had caught it and on his way to delivering it at a croc farm had parked it there so he could go to the pub for a couple of beers. He thought his mum was away but she came home unexpectedly early. The police picked up the crocodile, photographed it and then, believing it to be a freshwater crocodile, took the reptile to nearby Lily Creek Lagoon and released it. This is a popular spot for boating, walking and bird-watching, with a caravan park and other accommodation located on its shores. The shit hit the fan when a few days later Department of Conservation and Land Management CALM staff saw the photos and identified the reptile as a salt water crocodile! Although it was under two metres when released by police it had the potential to grow in to six metres, big enough to eat people. Traps were set in the following days but with the lake being home to thousands of freshwater crocodiles that are harmless to people the job of catching one saltwater crocodile was like finding a needle in a haystack. It took a couple of weeks and plenty of man hours but they finally managed to catch the saltie and relocate it. Rabbits A home sick English squire living in Victoria thought he would be able to cope better with his new home if he would have some rabbits to keep him company and remind him of Mother England. So in the first rabbits were brought into Australia, only a few but they immediately did what rabbits do best and that is breed like rabbits so very soon their numbers became a plague. People that used to eat them to survive sometimes called them 'underground mutton'.
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